Yesterday, we went to a cultural briefing at FIRM (with Rev. Sophia DeWitt and Rev. Sharon Stanley, pictured right). Nick now has official Hmong permission to ask Elizabeth’s parents for permission to court her. We were issued immigration cards, so now we can legally get into the US, and we have to show them to the border guards every time we want into the country (aka FIRM center). We sat in on an English class for Hmong adults who are getting ready to take their citizenship tests, and we had to assist them in learning about the constitution (which some of us needed to quickly review). After that, and rolling 130 sets of silverware into napkins and pulling weeds while wearing flip flops in extreme heat, we came back to the church for some free time. More secret buddy stuff, some food, etc. Later, we went back to FIRM for the kids’ program. Half of us worked at a music/rhythm instruments station, and the other half ran community building games for the kids. There’s a pretty big language barrier between us and everyone else, but fortunately there are adults and teens who are willing to translate. 
The Wooden Spoons (consisting of Becca, Martin, Michael, and Adam) were on cooking duty, and came back early to prepare dinner – Italian food (spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and brownies for dessert).
After dinner, we played Psychiatrist, which Rachel rocked at. Michael and Kerrigan just stood there and asked occasional questions, and made interesting comments. All three are now certified psychiatrists. They cannot however, divulge their patient’s conditions, due to work camp regulations.
That’s all for now.
Becca, Elizabeth, Rachel, and Lizzie
The Wooden Spoons (consisting of Becca, Martin, Michael, and Adam) were on cooking duty, and came back early to prepare dinner – Italian food (spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and brownies for dessert).
After dinner, we played Psychiatrist, which Rachel rocked at. Michael and Kerrigan just stood there and asked occasional questions, and made interesting comments. All three are now certified psychiatrists. They cannot however, divulge their patient’s conditions, due to work camp regulations.
That’s all for now.
Becca, Elizabeth, Rachel, and Lizzie
2 comments:
Hmmm... What are the procedures and requirements for accepting a request to court one's daughter?
Thanks for the updates and congratulations to the newly-initiated work-campers!
All:
I'm a little surprised to hear about the possible courtship. Traditionally these things only happen at New Year (see below). I'm glad to hear that Nick is a conservative and didn't just try to run off with Elizabeth.
This would have been a lot easier if we were following Norwegian traditions. Nick would have carved a wooden spoon and left it on our front porch. I get up before Elizabeth and could have just popped it into the fireplace. Oh well, that's what happens when we live in a culturally rich melting pot of a country.
Traditionally, young people of marriageable age could only play together during a ritualized courtship game of ball tossing during New Year's celebrations, where plural marriages are a possible option, and where a desperate suitor could precipitate marriage arrangements by kidnapping his chosen bride.
A traditional Hmong courtship could come about in many ways, though the American media has focused on three traditional practices of marriage negotiation,: marriage by capture, marriage by elopement and marriage by proposal.
In any event, a “mej koob” (pronounced ma kong) always negotiates during the ceremony. The mej koob also plans all of the rights and rituals of the ceremony. For the Hmong, marriage always involves clan negotiation. The mej koob performs the ceremony by singing 12 hours of poetry each day over the course of three days. One of the most important aspects of the mej koob’s role is to unite the clans. The mej koob explores the past between the individuals, families and the clans with the purpose of resolving any ancient disputes. Since Hmong people cannot marry within their own clan, the mej koob role in the negotiations is crucial.
Negotiations can be very complex, often lasting several days. Marriage can be fully recognized only when an agreed bride price has been passed from the father of the groom to the family of the bride.
The marriage negotiation usually begins when a young boy has settled on his bride. He asks his father to begin negotiations with the bride’s family. The mej koob who consults with the families and the clan elders, negotiates the bride price, old grievances, and ceremonial considerations. The actual marriage ceremony begins at the groom’s house.
Sacrifices are made to the house and to the spirits of ancestors. After the ceremonies at the groom’s house, the ceremony moves to the bride’s house. Eventually the bride price is paid and the marriage feast begins. The feast can be quite lavish, lasting several days. Throughout, the mej koob sings his beautiful poetry.
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